In a Sick State

I’ve been alluding and hinting towards this post for some time now. Even more annoying is the fact that the idea for it has been mulling around in my head since the U2 concert...

 SA Rock Music - Inspiration to the Police & German car manufacturers alike

I need to get some things straight right off the bat: Although I would love to claim that I know all the ins-and-outs of the South African (rock) music scene, I honestly don’t. Now, you can easily debate that it is my fault – what with the enormous amounts of info available on the web – I suppose an argument can be made that it is up to me to get the info I’m looking for. But the other side of that coin is that effective marketing should reach its target audience. I am that audience – why then am I still in the dark?

I suffer from no illusions here. I am totally aware that Metal and Rock (to a certain extent) are underground genres. And I admit freely that I am not in clubs and venues as often as I should be. That being said, however, my perception is that the harder side of the local music scene is quite ill.

I intend to make a few compelling arguments here...

Let me get started by saying that The Springbok Nude Girls sucked at U2. Come to think of it, they sucked at My Coke Fest 2006 too. Arno Carstens even sucked as the opening act for R.E.M when they were here in 2005. [This was during his ‘adult contemporary’ phase as a solo artist]. Does that mean that The Nudies suck full-stop? Or does that mean that they just suck live?



Arno Carstens may harm your computer - must be true, Google says so!



I’ll say this: A few days after the Coke Fest in 2006, I happened to hear a radio interview with Arno in which he complained that the local acts were forced to perform in the daytime, with little or no lighting and at half the capabilities of the huge sound system.

Fair complaint? Perhaps. Or perhaps you could get off your local-celebrity ass and work harder to gain international acclaim, Arno. Remember a band called Saron Gas? If memory serves me, they were at the 2006 festival too [albeit under a different name]. Difference is that Shaun and the boys worked their fingers to the bone to get to where they are, to enjoy the resources of an international quality sound and lighting system, at full strength. Present a show that people will want to see if you plan to be on the bill at a huge event like that.



Shaun Morgan of Seether, Live @ My Coke Fest 2006



I’ve strayed off topic...

The sound was lousy, the performance was poor and un-entertaining, and with the band from deepest, darkest Africa, I expected much more from this once, proudly heavy, band. This was also supposed to be The Nudies’ big return from hiatus, and what better platform to cock it up than at U2 - the biggest concert in South Africa to date?



Sprinkbok Nude Girls in the "Glory Days"

Why am I so abrasive towards them? I am a huge Nudies fan – I think Bubblegum on my boots is one of the very best rock singles, anywhere, ever. The most recent single from the reformed Nudies is the quite forgettable Illuminate, off the 2007 Peace Breaker album - hardly worth the mention.

But where have the glory days gone? The days of Genie and Blue Eyes. The days when The Nudies had some of the most loyal, most hardcore fans? I’ll tell you – they are gone; relegated to the cold dark abyss of yesterday.

Speaking of, where are all the heavy bands? A few that spring to mind are: Battery 9, [that turned into “9”, and fell off the wagon soon after], Grannysmith, Perez, Cutting Jade, Sugar Drive and, not that heavy but worth a mention, Just Jinger [or Jinjer, or Ginger, or however they spell it nowadays] In fact, the only ass-kicking, heavy band that hails from local shores I can think of is The Narrow...

[If you can think of any others, please let me know by dropping a line in the ‘Comments’ below – if they deserve it, they will definitely get a mention...]

...come to think of it, that’s not entirely true. The Afrikaans boys seem to be making major inroads to the local scene.

[Disclaimer: I’ve now entered into territory I know nothing about...]

There seems to be a new Afrikaans rock band around every corner these days – and that’s not a bad thing. Some of these guys can hold a candle right up to any one of the Soutie-bands from this country, and rightfully so.

Look, in essence, music knows no language - and since I can speak both English and Afrikaans equally deliciously, it shouldn’t matter to me, right? Well it does. For reasons I cannot comprehend entirely, I just don’t like Afrikaans rock.

To me, a song is a complete package consisting of many different parts – instruments, beat, tempo, etc. And the biggest aversion (amongst many) I have to Afrikaans rock is the cadence and metre in the lyrics. I just can’t wrap my head around it. It sounds strange and ‘offish’ to my ears. The instruments are as good as any I have heard, and more often than not, they come together in glorious fashion. But, the lyrics just seem ‘off’ – nothing I can do to change that. And how much international success will they ever enjoy if they sing in a language spoken only by 6.5 million people worldwide?

Another thing that gripes me about the Afrikaans boys is that their patriarchs are inbreeds. Don’t believe me? Exasperated by that comment? Suck on this then...

The 4 best selling and best known Afrikaans rock bands are:

1. Fokofpolisiekar

Fokofpolisiekar (Live)

2. Van Coke Kartel

Van Coke Kartel

3. Die Heuwels Fantasties

Die Heuwels Fantasties

4. aKING

aKING

They often play the same festivals and when they do, they call themselves “VanFokKingTasties” – very clever indeed.



Francois Badenhorst-Van Coke... Ugly!



Now, Francois Badenhorst was with Fokof before he started Van Coke, and became Francois Van Coke. Wynand Myburg was also part of the Polisie, but gave that up to do Coke. Justin Kruger is a past member of both bands. Then, Hunter Kennedy left the Kartel to go play in the Hills (Heuwels), and took Johnny de Ridder with him. Jaco Venter is the only member of the family that plays in the only predominantly English (and not-so-very-inbred) band of the bunch, namely aKING. [Sjo... should I draw you a map?]

All are very good musos, all have honed their craft, and all have done their time in studio - I’ll never take that away from them. But is this inbreeding indicative of a bigger problem? I think so...



The Parlotones - with a hint of red

By my observation, the talent pool in this country is slowly running dry. I believe that this country has fallen into the hole of rewarding mediocrity – take the Parlotones as an example... A bold statement to make, and one that I can’t get into right now... [I’ll explore this in-depth on a later post, so for now, just take my word for it]

Does the Dutchies’ inbreeding stem from a lack of like-minded muso’s to form similar but different bands with? I think it’s not only possible, but highly likely.

The palate of the average South African does not appreciate Hard Rock & Heavy Metal – no problem, because “...to each their own...”. What I do have a problem with is this; there is (currently) no heavy band I know of that can satisfy the appetite of us, the metal fans. South Africa has a very small music industry, and last in line of that already too small industry are all the ‘heavy’ genres. Therefore I understand, but will never condone, the fact that there is more money to be made in the pop scene. As an aspiring professional musician myself, I completely understand the need to make a living. And for many, that means turning to mainstream, radio-friendly, pop and rock to put bread on the table. That’s just sad! To think that we cannot establish a hardcore scene in SA because we, the consumers, do not support our local talent...

So, here is my call to arms: If you enjoy rock and metal, and you want to be able to see local bands of high calibre in your neighbourhood club and opening for the big international acts that hit our shores from time to time – go out and make the effort. Go see bands play live, pay the cover charge with a smile; buy the T Shirt or flag or whatever merchandise the band has on offer, “Like” them on Facebook and invite your friends along to gigs. And most important: PAY FOR THEIR CD!

The only way we can encourage the muso’s and bands out there to never give up is to give them the opportunity. By spending your hard-earned cash on legitimate goods, you create a bigger market for the up –and-comers to make a living of the music they love to produce, and we would love to listen to...

\m/